


Supernatural Facebook Wars

by ImNotDeadYet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Facebook, M/M, i ship everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-28
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-10 21:50:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 7,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/471076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImNotDeadYet/pseuds/ImNotDeadYet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>what would happen if Sam, Dean, Bobby, Castiel, Gabriel, and Crowley had facebook</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All's Fair In Love And Facebook Wars

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted on ff.net
> 
> This is what happends when it's 2 am and im bored and on Facebook lol  
> I own nothing! this is unbeated and all for laughs

**Dean Winchester is in a relationship with Castiel.  
** 2 hours ago. Like . Comment  
 _Sam Winchester and Gabriel like this_

Dean Winchester: What the hell Sam!

Sam Winchester: It wasn't me!

Dean Winchester: Then who?

Gabriel: LQTM

Sam Winchester: LQTM?

Gabriel: *Laugh Quietly To Myself*

Castiel: I'm Confused o.O

Gabriel: I'm sure you are baby bro'

Dean Winchester: This is soooo not funny Gabriel!

Sam Winchester: … er it kinda is

Crowley: Glad to see you boys finally manned up and stopped eye fucking each other

Gabriel: *high fives*

Crowley: -.-

Dean Winchester: Shouldn't you be off stealing souls or something?

Crowley: It's a slow day at the crossroads

Gabriel: That almost rhymed awww look at our lil Crowley becoming a poet.

Crowley: Shut up angel!

Castiel: I'm still confused.

* * *

**Crowley is in a open relationship with Gabriel  
** 30 minutes ago. Like. Comment  
 _Gabriel and 6 others like this_

Crowley: Really?

Gabriel: Oh, hi honey :)

Crowley: Sod off!

Gabriel: That's not what you were saying last night XD

Crowley: Bite Me!

Gabriel: Now that's more like it ;)

Crowley: You're dog food once I find your feathery ass!

* * *

**Robert Singer wrote on Dean Winchester's wall  
** _I see Gabriel's playing trickster on facebook._  
A few minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester: Tell me about it, first it was the relationships then he turned Sam's picture into a moose even tho I'm pretty sure Crowley helped with that one.

Robert Singer: Now you see why I don't get on here with you idjits.

Sam Winchester: You can thank me now or you can thank me later it's up to you :D

Dean Winchester: What'd you do?

Sam Winchester: Check you feed.

* * *

**Gabriel added Tooth Fairy to his occupations**

**Crowley added Stripper to his occupations**

* * *

**Gabriel wrote on Sam Winchester's Wall  
** _It's on big boy ;)_  
A few seconds ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship


	2. A Bloody, Violent Mosnter, And You Wanna Be Facebook Friends With Him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing but a dirty mind and a lot of free time

**S** **am Winchester  
** _Is watching Trueblood.  
_ 1 hour ago. Like. Comment.

Dean Winchester: O.O

Gabriel: Wow, Sammy I didn't know you were into that.

Sam Winchester: Gabriel that's not even funny!

Gabriel: What's not funny Sammy? Your love of tall Swedish men? Or your blood fetish?

Sam Winchester: This is sooo not over!

Dean Winchester: You're the one who wanted to be facebook friends with him. smh

* * *

Gabriel likes _Gay Sex_ and _Demons_

* * *

 **Dean Winchester wrote on Gabriel's wall  
** _What someone likes on facebook teaches you a lot about a person errr angel.  
_ 30 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Gabriel: Ok even I admit that one was good.

Sam Winchester: thought Crowley would enjoy that one lol.

Crowley: HEY! Don't drag me into this!

Gabriel: You've been in this! Or did the moose just come outta no where?

Crowley: It was your idea!

Dean Winchester: When did u 2 get married? And why wasn't I invited to the wedding?

Crowley: haha real funny just 'cause you want some angel ass doesn't mean the rest of us do!

Sam Winchester: and Crowley wins this 1 lol.

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's wall.  
** _I'm running out of idea you gotta help me get them back!  
_ 15 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: You brought this all on yourself I'm staying out of it.

Gabriel: Yeah until you get hacked! Help me get them before they get you!

Crowley: NO!

Gabriel: plz plz plz plz!

Crowley: Since you asked so nicely um ….. NO!

Gabriel: *puppy dog eyes* plz Crowley!

Crowley: Leave me alone angel!

Gabriel: If you don't help me I might just do that!

Crowley: That's not really incentive for me to help you.

Gabriel: You know you'd be miserable without me :D

Crowley: By miserable you mean happiest man in hell?

Gabriel: Oh, come on give it up we ALL know why you wanted to find purgatory.

Crowley: Shut it angel!

Gabriel: Then help me!

Crowley: Fine.


	3. Are You Cold? Because I Believe Hell Just Froze Over

**Gabriel**

_Dean Winchester is the most amazingest person eva!  
_ 2 days ago. Like. Comment.

Gabriel: oh come on Sammy that ones not even good

Sam Winchester: you really think I did that?

Dean Winchester: haha suckers!

Sam Winchester: 2 words . . . EPIC FAIL

Gabriel: tsk tsk kiddo' gonna have to do better than that.

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's wall.  
** _Croooooowly!  
_ 1 day ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's wall.  
** _STOP IGNOREING ME!  
_ 23 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's wall.  
** _Please Crowley!  
_ 20 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's wall.  
** _You can't ignore me forever!  
_ 15 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's wall.  
** _Come on! It's not even my fault all I did was ask for help!  
_ 13 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's wall.  
** _You can't do t_ _h_ _is! You need me!  
_ 9 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's wall.  
** _Ok maybe not but u can't do this to me!  
_ 6 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's wall.  
** _You win! Just stop ignoring me!  
_ 4 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's wall.  
** _Look Crowley I'm sorry! Please just answer me!  
_ 3 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: Sorry for what?

Gabriel: OMG Crowley I'm sorry I didn't mean to turn him pink I was just mad you wouldn't help me! I promise I'll fix ur hell hound I'll do anything just plz talk to me!

Crowley: Then end this stupid facebook war!

Gabriel: but . . . but . . .

Crowley: END IT!

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Sam Winchester's wall.  
** _Sammy boy I call a truce *waves white flag in air*  
_ 2 hours ago . Like. Comment. See Friendship

Sam Winchester: deal

Gabriel: Really? o.O

Sam Winchester: yes really!

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's wall.  
** _Are you cold?  
_ about an hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: Um . . No? why?

Gabriel: cuz I believe hell just froze over.

Crowley: what?

Gabriel: Sam agreed to a truce no questions no promises nothing.

Crowley: he's up to something.


	4. Why Did I Just Wake Up Half Naked In Your Front Yard?

**Gabriel wrote on Crowley's wall.  
** _Crowley why did I just wake up half naked in your front yard with no memory of the last 2 days o.O  
_ 10 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: What the hell? When did this happened?

Gabriel: idk like 4 hours ago!

Crowley: hmmm around the same time my pool was filled with salt water!

Gabriel: and you think I did it? How could I! I was still tryin to find my shirt!

Crowley: who else would?

Gabriel: IDK! But it wasn't me! Plus you know id never fuck with the pool! I love that thing

Crowley: true but then . . . Winchester!

Sam Winchester: You like the peace offering me and Cass left you this morning?

Crowley: PEACE! You put salt in my bloody pool!

Sam Winchester: yeah that was Dean's idea, me n Cass just messed with Gabriel.

Gabriel: what happened to truce you stupid moose! Oh god I've been hanging around Crowley too much im rhyming and calling him a moose XD

Sam Winchester: it's still a truce I didn't do anything on facebook and who did I really hurt anyway? If Crowley hadn't been so worried about his damn pool he would have enjoyed it.

Crowley: SHUT UP WINCHESTER! And get ur angel back over here to fix my pool!

Sam Winchester: That's y you have your own angel!

* * *

 **Castiel wrote on Dean Winchester's wall.  
** _Your brothers going to get himself killed.  
_ 5 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester: I know but it's just too damn funny to stop him, plus u helped him

Castiel: I only helped to get back at Gabriel for his pink phase my shirt still hasn't completely faded.

Dean Winchester: why'd it half to be half naked angels? I think that was more of a gift than a punishment

Castiel: I don't understand o.O

Dean Winchester: smh

* * *

 **Dean Winchester wrote on Sam Winchester's wall.  
** _I think it's time we end this war nothing good can come of tricking a trickster  
_ 3 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Sam Winchester: Oh come on its just getting good!

Dean Winchester: Sammy u had your fun end it before someone ends up dead even Cass is worried

Sam Winchester: I don't think either Crowley or Gabriel would really hurt somebody?

Dean Winchester: well ones an arch angel who likes to play tricks that normaly end with someone dead and the others a demon not just a demon king of the demons so what do u think Sammy?

Sam Winchester: I'll think about it


	5. You Do Know Car's Can't Fly Right?

**Dean Winchester  
** _When I find out who wrecked my car I'm gonna kill you! Then bring you back and kill you again!  
_ 1 hour ago. Like. Comment.

Crowley: Dean, you do no cars can't fly?

Dean Winchester: CROWLEY! I should have known!

Crowley: not funny when it's your things being fucked with is it?

Gabriel: shouldn't of fucked with the pool kiddo'

Dean Winchester: This is so not over Crowley!

Crowley: Hope not sweetheart.

* * *

 **Sam Winchester wrote on Dean Winchester's Wall  
** _Me n bobby just got the impala down off the poles, your in for a lot of work this time.  
_ 30 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester: I'm gonna kill Crowley!

Sam Winchester: Well you did fuck with his pool.

Dean Winchester: SAMMIE! Who's side are you on!

Sam Winchester: You know I'm with you but I'm just saying u gotta expect payback.

Dean Winchester: Yeah but what about your lil stunt with Gabriel?

San Winchester: I think he's a little busy with a demon if you get what I mean ;D

Dean Winchester: I did not need those mental pictures! Oh man I might lose my lunch . you sure tho?

Sam Winchester: neither were on here once on V day plus Crowley never fixed his relationship status.

Dean Winchester: You might be right Sammie.

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _Croooowley plz help me D:  
_ 30 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: What did you do now?

Gabriel: nuthin :/ I just need help getting Sam back for the whole naked stunt.

Crowley: thought you weren't mad bout that?

Gabriel: oh I'm not ;D I just like fucking with him XD and I saw the impala nice job on that.

Crowley: what can I say they don't teach you to drive in demon school.

Gabriel: That they do not! Lol but they do teach you other fun things XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umm yeah sorry this was kinda rushed and i had no ideas but i did flip my car on some poles....


	6. We're All Over That Shit!

**Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _Umm Crowley I think I just saw your Bentley on fire at the end of your street are you ok?  
_ 1 hour ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: yes, I don't have an unhealthy relationship with my car unlike some people -.-

Gabriel: ohh shoulda seen that one coming miles away.

Crowley: Just more proof that the Winchesters fail at this

Gabriel: yeah all this winning is starting to get boring :/

* * *

 **Sam Winchester  
** _THE ARCH ANGEL GABRIEL IS THE MOST AMAZING ANGEL EVER! WHO ALSO RULES FACEBOOK! . . Nuff said  
_ 30 minutes ago. Like. Comment.

Dean Winchester: Hacking fail

Sam Winchester: Shut up Dean! No one likes you anyway!

Dean Winchester: that the best you could come up with? I still say Gabriel might be the slowest angel.

Sam Winchester: I WILL SMITE YOU!

Dean Winchester: Still logged in as Sam smh

Sam Winchester: Oh shit

* * *

 **Sam Winchester wrote on Dean Winchester's Wall  
** _A car for a car? Taking the hole eye for an eye thing a little far don't cha think?  
_ 30 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester: NO! plus that's only part 1 to the pay back

Sam Winchester: Ohh really? What's part 2?

Dean Winchester: Can't tell you here Gabriel's become a facebook creeper.

Gabriel: I have not!

* * *

 **Crowley wrote on Gabriel's Wall  
** _Please tell me you're not about to start this hole facebook war shit all over again?  
_ 10 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Gabriel: Start? When did it stop?

Crowley: I meant the hacking and shit! Do what you want to them in person just don't blow up my phone again!

Gabriel: then disable you mobile alerts.

Crowley: ummm . . . Well . . . Yeahh . . . I don't know how

Gabriel: if I come help you will you help me plot the end of Sam Winchester?

Crowley: Fine

* * *

 **Castiel wrote on Dean Winchester's Wall  
** _Dean no!  
_ 5 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester: I haven't even asked yet o.O

Castiel: I already know and the answer is still no

Dean Winchester: Cass come on!

Castiel: No this has gone 2 far! The demon is too powerful for you to be messing with like this.

Dean Winchester: King of hell my ass! Come on he's still just a lowly crossroads demon.

Castiel: Dean I said NO!

Sam Winchester: Will someone please fill me in on what's going on

Castiel: Sam it doesn't matter cause it's not going to happen

Dean Winchester: Oh come on! U no it'll be funny, we wont let it go so far where someone ends up hurt I promise.

Castiel: Is your car really worth the risk of starting a war with hell? . . Wait don't answer I already know.

Dean Winchester: Then you know it must be done!

Castiel: NO! do you really think he's just going to let you walk away after this? I'm not pulling you out of hell again. I will play no part in this end of story.

Dean Winchester: FINE! Me and Sam can do it on our own!

Sam Winchester: Umm yeah? As soon as someone tells me what's going on we're all over that shit!


	7. You Can Only Tweet For Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was originally going to be the last chapter but I was convinced to write more

**Sam Winchester  
** _I've got genital herpes. . . .  
_ about a week ago. Like. Comment.

Gabriel: Really Sam? Maybe you should try some Herpexia

Castiel: Gabriel, I thought you were done with this

Gabriel: Mr. Trickster does not like pretty boy angels!

Dean Winchester: yeah Cass didn't you know Gabriel likes demons waaay better

Gabriel: I WILL SMITE YOU!

Sam Winchester: someone likes the shift key .

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Sam Winchester's Wall  
** _NUTTCRACKER!  
_ about a week ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Sam Winchester: that wasn't funny the 1st time -.-

Gabriel: even you know it was! Besides I just wanted to remind you of what I can and will do to you :D I know you 2 muttonheads are planning something just watch yourself Sammie

* * *

 **Crowley wrote on Gabriel's Wall  
** _are you still alive?  
_ 4 days ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

* * *

 **Crowley wrote on Gabriel's Wall  
** _not that I'm worried or anything  
_ 3 days ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

* * *

 **Crowley wrote on Gabriel's Wall** _I  
haven't had an arch angel kicking down my door in about a week -.- are you even still alive?  
_1 day ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

* * *

 **Crowley wrote on Dean Winchester's Wall  
** _I know you had something to do with this fix it now before I drag your ass back to hell myself!  
_ 23 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester: I'm afraid I have no idea what you mean

Crowley: I'm not playing Winchester!

Castiel: Dean! I told you not too! Now I have to go clean up your mess once again

Dean Winchester: Oh come on Cass! It's all in fun

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _Damn holy fire!  
_ 50 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: I see your brother brought you back

Gabriel: yeah -.- damn Winchester kidnapping is just too far! Our payback must be HUGE!

Crowley: oh don't worry about that. I'll take care of the payback and end this facebook war once and for all!

Gabriel: ohh the shits about to hit the fan XD

* * *

 **Sam Winchester wrote on Castiel's Wall  
** _Hey, I haven't seen Dean in about a week is he with you?  
_ 5 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Castiel: No I haven't heard from him in a while . . He'll show up sooner or later

Sam Winchester: Yeah you're right.

* * *

**_*Meanwhile in the pits of hell*_ **

Dean: "What the hell! Why can't I update my status?"

Crowley: "Oh yeah you can only tweet from hell"

Dean: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"


	8. Who Let Gabriel Have An iPhone?

**Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _Crooowley! What's a state you hate?  
_ 3 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: what? I don't hate any state more than the others why?

Gabriel: Argh! Then give me a random state

Crowley: No -.- just google it

Gabriel: IDK how to Google on my iphone!

Crowley: who was dumb enough to give you a iPhone?

Gabriel: Just shut up and give me a state!

Crowley: Fine! Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this later?

Gabriel: you won't! now help!

Crowley: umm I don't know . . . How bout Virginia no one likes them anyway?

Gabriel: Thank you ;)

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _It is now illegal to have sex with the lights on, it is also illegal to have sex in any position other than missionary in the state of Virginia  
_ 2 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: Really? I mean really?

Gabriel: LQTM

Crowley: this is why you wanted a state?

Gabriel: yeah XD I was bored thought I'd play around with some laws lol and remind me to never go to Virginia

Crowley: Ditto

* * *

 **Gabriel  
** _GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING IPHONE!  
_ 1 hour ago. Like. Comment.

Castiel: Brother?

Gabriel: SHUT UP!

Castiel: o.O

Dean Winchester: Looks like someone's having a bitch fit

Gabriel: SHUT UP!

Crowley: do I even want to know?

Gabriel: God damn auto correct -.-

Crowley: You know you can turn it off right?

Gabriel: -.-

* * *

 **Sam Winchester wrote on Dean Winchester's Wall  
** _Facebook has been kind of quite. . . Do you think Gabriel has finally given up?  
_ 20 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester: way I see it it's one of 3 things.  
1\. Me going to hell made us even -.-  
2\. He still can't figure out how to use facebook on the iphone or  
3\. He's planning something big. . .

Sam Winchester: I'm voting for 2 lol

Dean Winchester: I thought me being in hell was pay back enough thank you!

Sam Winchester: hey at least cas brought you back

Dean Winchester: I WAS STUCK IN HELL FOR 3 WEEK!

Sam Winchester: I know I follow you on twitter remember

Dean Winchester: I hate you

Sam Winchester: Love you too :D


	9. By "Hobby" I Did Not Mean "Kill The Wichesters"

**Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall**  
 _Crooowley!  
_ 3 week ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: what now?

Gabriel: I'm bored!

Crowley: then go do something and leave me alone

Gabriel: but but but there's nothing to do!

Crowley: go make laws, annoy the Winchesters, kill something just leave me alone!

Gabriel: FINE! I'll go find Cas and do angelly things -.-

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Dean Winchester's Wall**  
 _Where are you hiding my brother!  
_ 2 weeks ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester:Me? I haven't seen Cas in days I thought he was in heaven or something

Gabriel: nope just got back from there he's no where to be found o.O

Dean Winchester: maybe he's just off doing angelly things?

Gabriel: he would never do angelly things without me! What if someone kid napped him? Or worse!

Dean Winchester: calm down we'll find him, who would want to kid nap Cas anyway?

Gabriel: YOU!

Dean Winchester: SMH

* * *

 **Dean Winchester wrote on Castiel's Wall**  
 _Cas where the hell are you?  
_ 1 week ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Castiel: Dean I do not appreciate your choice of words

Dean Winchester: God damn it Cas! We thought you'd been killed or something! Even Gabriel was worried

Castiel: I'm fine in case you forgot I am in the middle of a civil war

Dean Winchester: wouldn't kill you to check in

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall**  
 _why are you ignoring me?  
_ 4 days ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: I'm not ignoring you

Gabriel: are so!

Crowley: I am not!

Gabriel: you so are! I haven't seen you in forever! You wont even answer my text!

Crowley: I've been busy aright!

Gabriel: so! You still need to make Gabriel time -.-

Crowley: god damn needy angel

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Castiel's Wall**  
 _CAS!  
_ 3 days ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Castiel: yes?

Gabriel: I'm bored come do angelly things with me!

Castiel: I'm very busy Gabriel

Gabriel: oh come on! 1st Crowley now you! What am I supposed to do?

Castiel: find a hobby

* * *

Castiel wrote on Gabriel's Wall  
 _By "hobby" I did not mean "kill the Winchesters"  
_ 2 days ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Gabriel: well there was nothing else to do!

* * *

 **Sam Winchester wrote on Dean Winchester's Wall**  
 _Someone needs to do something about Gabriel!  
_ Yesterday. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester: he try and kill you again?

Sam Winchester: YES!

Dean Winchester: what is that the 9th time this week? He must really be bored

Sam Winchester: why isn't Crowley keeping him busy!

Dean Winchester: don't know haven't seen much of him or Cas lately should we be worried?

Sam Winchester: Maybe…


	10. That's Not Funny! That's Just Creepy....

**Gabriel  
** _Is so freaking bored! And lonely D:  
_ yesterday. Like. Comment.

Sam Winchester: aww poor Gabriel is your demon ignoring you?

Gabriel: Shut up!

Sam Winchester: jeez don't take it out on me! If it makes you feel any better deans angel is ignoring him

Gabriel: Castiel ignore Dean ha I'll believe that when I see it

Sam Winchester: I'm not kidding we haven't even seen Cas in like 2 weeks

Gabriel: o.O

Sam Winchester: huh?

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _Are you screwing my brother!  
_ 23 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: WHAT? Why the hell would you ask me that? Why the hell would you ask me that on facebook?

Gabriel: I have to cuz you wont answer my text or calls and I have no idea where you are!

Crowley: I'm busy angel I promise I am not screwing your brother that's deans job even if he does deny it

Gabriel: well the tall Winchester claims they havent seen cas in 2 weeks then I realize I havent seen you in 2 weeks!

Crowley: don't listen to the moose I'm sure dean has seen his angel

Gabriel: -.- I'm still bored and lonely!

Crowley: FINE! I guess you can come here I just re opend the pool NO CANDY ALOUD

Gabriel: YAY i luvs you!

Crowley: say that again and I will kill you feathery ass

* * *

 **Sam Winchester wrote on Dean Winchester's Wall  
** _think I finally got Gabriel off our backs  
_ 20 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester: How?

Sam Winchester: I might have put a idea into his head XD

Dean Winchester: sam what did you do?

Sam Winchester: lol nothing I swear I might have hinted that Crowley might be fucking cas

Dean Winchester: that's just wrong and untrue on so many levels!

Sam Winchester: funny as hell tho!

Dean Winchester: that's not funny! that's just creepy!

Sam Winchester: FUNNY

Dean Winchester: CREEPY

Sam Winchester: FUNNY

Dean Winchester: CREEPY

Sam Winchester: its funny and you no it u just don't like the idea of someone else touching you angel

Dean Winchester: bitch!

Sam Winchester: Jerk

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _Crooowley! I think I left my bathing suit at your house o.O  
_ 2 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: SMH!


	11. What's The Worst He Can Do?

**Gabriel  
** _It is illegal to attempt to have sex with one's dog in the state of Illinois  
_ 4 Hours Ago. Like. Comment.

Crowley: who would even do that o.O

Sam Winchester: wow, just wow

Gabriel: Good thing Madison lived in Cali right Sammie?

Dean Winchester: low blow!

Sam Winchester: wtf did I do to you?

Gabriel: like I didn't know your plan! I'm a flippin archangel! duh I figured it out plus there's no way in hell anyone other than dean would EVER wanna get into baby bros pants so ha!

Sam Winchester: really Gabriel really?

Crowley: I really feel like said angel mentioned above saying this but… I'm confused

Gabriel: hes the one who told me you were banging cas!

Crowley: WHAT

Sam Winchester: I did not!

Castiel: good to know my sex life or lack there of is such entertainment to you all

Gabriel: go away cas! This has nothing to do with you

Castiel: you're talking about me how does that have nothing to do with me?

Gabriel: SHUT UP!

Crowley: lets not abuse the shift key shall we

Gabriel: -.-

* * *

 **Robert Singer wrote on Sam Winchester's Wall  
** _do I have to remind you it's not wise to piss off a archangel?  
_ 2 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Sam Winchester: oh come on its just Gabriel! Whats the worst he can do?

Dean Winchester: Bobby I think sam's memory was left in hell… Mystery Spot… MD ring any bells?

Robert Singer: yeah idjits, plus he has a kinda powerful demon wrapped around his finger

Sam Winchester: that's just it since Crowley is giving him attention again that's all he cares about

Dean Winchester: until Crowley gets bored again and Gabriel decides to take his anger out on you!

Sam Winchester: fine I wont mess with the odd couple again happy?

Dean Winchester: they truly are a odd couple lol

Sam Winchester: doesn't shock me that Crowley has a thing for angels. A demon banging and angel has got to be like a nerd bagging himself a super model

Robert Singer: anyone else notice that he's only after the male angels

Sam Winchester: …

Dean Winchester: …


	12. I WAS DRUNK!!

**Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!  
_ 2 days ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: Me? What did I do?

Gabriel: You know what you did!

Crowley: No I honestly don't? care to fill me in?

Gabriel: YOU KISSED HIM!

Crowley: More specific, love. I kiss a lot of people. Hello king of the cross roads

Gabriel: MY BROTHER!

Crowley: oh well….. Who told you about that?

Gabriel: NO ONE! How dumb do you think I am? Wait don't answer that -.- you made a deal with him! I knew you'd kiss him!

Crowley: Darling, for that kind of deal it had to be sealed with a lot more than a kiss…

Gabriel: O.O you are so dead!

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Sam Winchester's Wall  
** _Sammie, if you want me to stop pranking you all you have to do is help me get Crowley back.  
_ 1 day ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Sam Winchester: what'd he do now?

Gabriel: my little brother

Sam Winchester: Gabriel I was just joking about that

Gabriel: I KNOW! But he really did! He admitted it! Remember that little deal they made? Well kind of like the deal Lilith tried to make with you! It has to be sealed with more than a kiss if you get what I mean

Sam Winchester: wait! You mean they really did! Oh god that image will never come out of my head!

Gabriel: imagine how I feel!

* * *

 **Sam Winchester wrote on Dean Winchester's Wall  
** _Dude! Gabriel just told me his demon did your angel!  
_ 23 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester: WHAT! And he's not my angel!

Sam Winchester: w/e but he did dude! That deal they made had to be sealed with something more than a kiss!

Dean Winchester: you mean like with Lilith that what time?

Sam Winchester: YES!

* * *

 **Dean Winchester wrote on Castiel's Wall  
** _You let a demon pop your cherry!  
_ 22 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Balthazar: No, I did that along time ago

Castiel: Balthazar!

Balthazar: what? I defended you!

Dean Winchester: okay that was just tmi! But still cas a demon! A demon!

Castiel: my sex life is no ones business

Balthazar: well it is mine dear

Castiel: I did what I had to! It's over with

Dean Winchester: wow cas, just wow

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _okay we're even now :D  
_ 2 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: what did you do?

Gabriel: oh nothing just took you favorite Winchester out drinking, and maybe a little more….

Crowley: YOU DID THE MOOSE!

Gabriel: oh not so much fun when the shoes on the other foot -.-

Crowley: I did what I had to do! Its my job!

Sam Winchester: What The Hell Gabriel! I was drunk!

Gabriel: so? Still worked perfectly

Dean Winchester: now you Sammie? Oh god I'm staying out of this fucked up orgy yall got going on here

Sam Winchester: I WAS DRUNK!

Gabriel: doesn't matter! Me and Crowley are now even!

Crowley: Fine angel -.- if it makes you happy

Gabriel: it does :D

Sam Winchester: Aww

Dean Winchester: ew

Crowley: SHUT UP! THE BOTH OF YOU!


	13. Must Everything Be About Sex With You?

**Castiel wrote on Gabriel's Wall  
** _Brother, I need your help…  
_ 8 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Gabriel: with what?

Castiel: well it has to do with dean

Gabriel: I'm all for helping but I think Balthazar would be more helpful in that area

Castiel: must everything be about sex with you

Gabriel: YES!

Castiel: Gabriel…..

Gabriel: fine baby bro how can I help?

Castiel: you seem to have this talent of making people talk to you even when they want nothing to do with you… dean is no longer speaking to me I need your help

Gabriel: hmm that mainly only works with Crowley but we can try it on a Winchester hmm let me get back to you with the plan

Castiel: thank you brother

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _why do you talk to me?  
_ 7 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: what?

Gabriel: why do you talk to me? You get mad and say your never going to speak to me again and then you do o.O

Crowley: cause if I don't you'll annoy the hell out of me! Where is all this coming from?

Gabriel: trying to help lil bro make the Winchester speak to him again

Crowley: well just tell him to threaten him with 'no more sex' like you do -.-

Gabriel: lol wont work anymore now that everyone including dean knows bathy has claimed him

* * *

 **Castiel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _This is all your fault demon!  
_ 2 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: MY fault! I'm not the one who told him

Castiel: its because of you he wont speak to me

Crowley: again your own choice darling I didn't force you to make the deal

* * *

 **Castiel wrote on Balthazar's Wall  
** _I don't know what to do anymore  
_ 30 minutes ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Balthazar: oh cassy he'll come around sooner or later

Castiel: I hope your right Balthazar


	14. I'm Sexy And I Know It

**Gabriel  
** _I'm sexy and I know it!  
_ 4 Hours Ago. Like. Comment

Dean Winchester: Really Gabriel? REALLY!

Gabriel: What? It's my theme song!

Crowley: That's it I'm taking away your internet privileges

Gabriel: Awhh Crowls you're just made because you can't work YouTube on your phone

Crowley: I can work YouTube just fine! It's this bloody ringtone I can't get off!

Gabriel: Oh come on it's not that bad it only plays when I call

Crowley: Which is only about 50 times a day!

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _Crooooooooooowley  
_ 2 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: What now! -.-

Gabriel: Buy me a guinea pig :D I get lonely when you're off running hell I need a friend!

Crowley:… NO

Gabriel: Why not D:

Crowley: Remember what happened to the turtle?

Gabriel: he ran away and I'm sticking to that story

Crowley: No. More. Pets!

Gabriel: But you have hell hound!

Crowley: Which you can not kill end of story

Gabriel: Come on Crowls your hell hounds hate me and you can even name the pig Winchester just picture it "WINCHESTER STOP SHITTING ON THE FLOOR!"

Crowley: as fun as that would be NO MORE PETS EVER!


	15. Be My Valentine?

**Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall**  
 _Be my valentine?_  
12 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: for the millionth time NO

Dean Winchester: awh Crowley why so mean?

Balthazar: poor brother rejected again

Gabriel: shut up Balthazar! At least my boyfriend isn't secretly in love with a Winchester

Castiel: I am not in love with any Winchester…

Gabriel: even Balthazar has a valentine D: Crooooowley why won't you be mine!

Crowley: it's a stupid pointless holiday that I WILL NOT buy into

Balthazar: Gabriel I'm sorry your boyfriend is so unromantic

Crowley: STOP CALLING ME THAT!

Balthazar: uh oh….

Gabriel:..

Crowley: I mean… Um… just don't like the word

Dean Winchester: Crowley is speechless! I never thought I'd live to see the day!

Crowley: If you want to live to see the rest of today I'd fuck off now if I were you

Gabriel: THAT'S IT! Crowley stop it now or no more sex EVER!

Crowley:…

Balthazar: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA thanks for making my day brother

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall**  
 _Happy Valentine's Day! Thanks for today :D_  
2 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Balthazar: So he finally came around?

Gabriel: he did :)

Balthazar: so what did he do?

Gabriel: the whole 9 yards! Candy, flowers, wine, lots and lots of sex ;) even tho I didn't get my pig he got me a fish! It only has one eye we named it Michael

Balthazar: ha I'm sure Michael will be thrilled to know you're still thinking of him

Gabriel: I bet haha I feel like I'm talking to him every time I call one eyed mike a dumbass for running into stuff


	16. You Hear "Dick" And You Just Assume It's About Sex?

**Gabriel**  
 _BBQ!_  
2 Hours Ago. Like. Comment

Balthazar: Really? Is Crowley aware of what is taking place at his home?

Gabriel: Yup ever since Cas, and Dean went MIA he's been in a REALLY good mood

Balthazar: Wait, what? I just saw Cas?

Gabriel: Well last I heard Crowley said dean was gonna be MIA for a while something to do with dick so I just assumed Cas was with him *shrug*

Balthazar: That's not funny brother

Gabriel: awh are you jealous? I'm sure Cas still looooves you!

Balthazar: I cannot help he is attractive, if I recall even a certain King of Hell wanted a piece of him

Gabriel: low blow bro low blow

* * *

Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
 _I thought you said little bro was missing too?_  
2 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: Um know I said Dean

Gabriel: well you said something about dick so I just assumed cas was with him

Crowley: You hear "Dick" and you just assume it's about sex?

Gabriel: pretty much, yeah

Crowley: I worry about you

Gabriel: yeah I do too….


	17. You Want Me To Send Him Back To Hell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna go ahead and say sorry for this chapter I don't even remember writing it I'm pretty sure I was drunk while wondering around target and writing on my iPhone

**Dean Winchester  
** _UGHHHH  
_ 4 Hours Ago. Like. Comment

Sam Winchester: where uve been?

Dean Winchester: you don't even wanna know….. Sammy remember the good ol days when Crowley was too busy denying he was fucking Gabriel to fuck with me?

Sam Winchester: yeah :/ and when cas was still in love with you and not Balthazar

Dean Winchester: shut up!

Sam Winchester: hehe

* * *

 **Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _I thought Dean was gonna be gone for a while -.-  
_ 2 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: what? Cas already saved his ass?

Gabriel: yes -.- I was enjoying your mood with him not being around…

Crowley: want me to send him back to hell darling?

Gabriel: Nah that's been done! Think of something new!

Crowley: I'll see what I can do

* * *

 **Balthazar wrote on Gabriel's Wall  
** _I believe I just saw your demon in target? Should I be worried?  
_ 1 hour ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Gabriel: I have no idea what its up to. WAIT! Why were you in target?

Balthazar: Please its target!

Gabriel: good point…

Balthazar: so really no idea?

Gabriel: nope other than it has to do with payback for dean

Balthazar: payback? What'd he do this time?

Gabriel: Um lived? I don't know I think Crowley just likes fucking with him

Balthazar: Crowley likes fucking with everyone

Gabriel: Not Me!

Balthazar: He likes fucking YOU darling close enough

Gabriel: True


	18. Think I Can Get A MTV Show Outta This?

**Gabriel wrote on Crowley's Wall  
** _Crowley I have something to tell you….  
_ 5 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Crowley: What is it now angel?

Gabriel: Ummm I'm not sure how to tell you…. You're not gonna be happy

Crowley: Just spit it out!

* * *

 **Gabriel  
** _Well here it goes…. I'M PREGANT!  
_ 4 Hours Ago. Like. Comment

Crowley: that's really not funny -.-

Dean Winchester: Congrats XD look at Crowley all proud papa to be

Sam Winchester: you prob shoulda tagged him just so we're clear who the father is….

Crowley: Shut up moose!

Gabriel: now now Crowley be nice or sammie here is gonna be the god father :)

Crowley: OVER MY DEAD BOD.. wait why am I ever -.- THERE IS NO BABY! Last time I checked you are a male (which cant get pregnant) and an angel (which cant get pregnant)

Balthazar: Crowley stop pouting congrats brother I'm finally going to be an uncle

Gabriel: Thank you Balthazar you know how Crowley gets -.-

Balthazar: oh I know he'll lighten up once he gets used to the idea of it all

Gabriel: You're right.. hey do you think I could get a mtv show outta this?

Balthazar: I don't see why not

Crowley: bloody hell I'll be in hell if anyone (who's not a psycho angel) needs me


	19. Oh God Who Let You On The Internet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all caught up posting old chapters :)  
> this chapter on is all new work so feedback is always wanted

**Gabriel  
** _Thinking of boy names: Crowley Jr or Loki?  
_ 4 Hours Ago. Like. Comment

Crowley: will you stop all this madness already!

Dean Winchester: def Crowley jr it's a classic can't go wrong with a classic

Gabriel: good point

Balthazar: No no no! that's so boring! My nephew will not have a boring name!

Sam Winchester: wait so it's a boy now? When did this happen?

Gabriel: oh no sammie we still don't know just wanna be prepared for either plus I'm just now starting to show

Crowley: you're not showing your fat from eating all that damn candy

Sam Winchester: okay good but since Crowley is still being a dick does that mean I'm still good father?

Gabriel: its between you and cas now

Dean Winchester: Hey why not me?!

Gabriel: because no one likes you dean

Dean Winchester: …

Sam Winchester: HA

* * *

**Chat**

**Balthazar** : _are you really trying to convince your demon that you're pregnant?_ ****

 **Gabriel** : _That's the plan_  
 **Balthazar** : _as funny as this all is may I ask why brother?_  
 **Gabriel** : _well we were talking about the whole Loki thing you know when I ran around with the pagans for a bit well apparently they think I gave birth to some 6 legged horse! I mean really a horse of all things! For some reason Crowley got a kick out of that and wouldn't shut up about it so now its pay back_  
 **Balthazar** : _he was probably just jealous of you screwing the horse instead of him…_  
 **Gabriel** : _HAHAH brother you are so funny!_

* * *

 **Castiel wrote on Gabriel's Wall  
** _Brother, what is this Balthazar tells me about you being with child/horse?  
_ 3 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Gabriel: don't listen to anything balthy says! Don't worry cas your niece or nephew will be 100% human err well 50% demon 50% angel

Castiel: I don't understand how you claiming to be pregnant has to do with a horse?

Gabriel: I am not "claiming" I am pregnant with Crowleys child! AND NOT A HORSE BALTHAZAR!

Balthazar: well I did some research maybe it's a wolf this time?

Gabriel: oh god who allowed you on the internet!

Balthazar: or maybe a snake?

Crowley: if it comes out with hooves we know it's not mine

Gabriel: yall are just so funny -.- who's else would it be!?

Balthazar: Do moose have hooves?

Crowley: I believe they do…

Castiel: I still don't understand...

Gabriel: BATHY WHOS SIDE ARE YOU ONE? Crowley I thought we agreed to forget about that…

Balthazar: I'm on my side dear brother :D

Gabriel: I hate you all -.-


	20. I fear he may have been eaten too…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god guys i am so fucking sorry D: life has taken over plus the walking dead now rules my life  
> but anyway im so sorry again i will try to either update at least once every 2 weeks or finish this off soon  
> but i really am sorry! feel free to blame the walking dead fandom they sucked me in D:  
> I even went to a comic con
> 
> Also feel free to come bug me on tumblr and tell me to get my ass writing
> 
> ImNotDeadYet13.Tumblr.com

 

 **Gabriel**  
 _How much weight do pregnant people gain? O.O maybe it's twins!  
_ 14 Hours Ago. Like. Comment

Balthazar: Twins would be wonderful dear brother

Crowley: can we please stop this now? No you are not pregnant. no you are not having twins you just too much candy!

Gabriel: are you calling me fat?!

Balthazar: oh dear I wouldn't have said that if I were you I heard women become very hormonal while pregnant

Crowley: HE is not pregnant! HE is not hormonal! HE is not showing! HE's just fat from all the candy HE ate! Because HE is an angel not some bloody female human!

Balthazar: uh oh

Gabriel: THAT'S IT!

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

* * *

New Text Message:  
 **From Dean** : did the internet just explode?

New Text Message:  
 **From Sam** : um I believe we just found out what happens when you call an arch angel fat

New Text Message:  
 **From Dean** : I don't like this sammie a harmless joke is turning into something big

New Text Message:  
 **From Sam** : I don't like it either Dean but what can we do?

New Text Message:  
 **From Sam** : also my phone keeps autocorrecting "dean" to "dead" I'm laughin to hard at this

New Text Message:  
 **From Dean** : very fucking funny!

* * *

 **Sam Winchester wrote on Dean Winchester's Wall**  
 _Dead, I mean dean XD I believe we are back  
_ 3 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester: Real fucking funny Sammie!

Castiel: I don't understand? I don't believe death has a facebook?

Sam Winchester: Nvm cas inside joke, anyway did you get your brother to fix the internet?

Castiel: No he's currently curled up in bed eating a whole tub of ice cream by himself… I sent Balthazar to check on him hours ago I fear he may have been eaten too…

Dean Winchester: don't worry cas you know Gabriel he'll be over this and moved onto a new way to torture everyone some other way soon enough you'll see

Castiel: I pray you're right dean

* * *

 


	21. BIGGER PROBLEMS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh god im so so so so sorry this is really short and really late!  
> but im outta ideas and im not sure how to end this...  
> advice is welcome
> 
> also easiest to contact me via tumblr
> 
> BackwoodsLegitt

**Sam Winchester wrote on Dean Winchester's Wall** ****  
 _There hasn’t been any angel/demon action on Facebook in a while… I'm worried_ _  
_3 hours ago. Like. Comment. See Friendship

Dean Winchester:  please don’t ever use “/” that just makes it sound wrong

Sam Winchester: why? Does / remind you off all those stories Gabriel emailed you?

Dean Winchester: WE AGREED TO NEVER SPEAK OF THAT!

Sam Winchester: awhh why? I thought the one with you and cas in the bath tub was well written?

Dean Winchester: I will kill you!

Balthazar: boys come on now be nice we have a bigger problem than erotic lituare between sweet Castiel and Mr. Winchester here

Sam Winchester: so you saw them too?

Balthazar: yup

Dean Winchester: BIGGER PROBLEM HERE!

Balthazar: oh right, yes well apparently oh dear Gabriel wasn’t with child but instead has taken his affections on one of Crowley’s young hounds Growley I believe yes I know sooo creative but yes anyway my “nephew” is currently destroying everything in my house a little help here?

Dean Winchester: and you can’t handle this yourself why?

Balthazar: id rather not have both my brother and his demon angry at me

Sam Winchester: and we do?

Balthazar: well they already hate dean

Sam Winchester: true…  



	22. Everyone We Love Is Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm really sorry this took so long  
> and this is kinda bittersweet but  
> I've kinda given up on this  
> I don't have the time  
> but anyway since I started this 3 years ago today (2/9/11-2/9/14)  
> I give you...

**Sam Winchester**   
_My news feed is dead!_   
4 Hours Ago. Like. Comment

Dean Winchester: Just like everyone we've ever known or loved

Sam Winchester:…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a asshole I know but that's it  
> It's over  
> thank you to everyone who read this and left me such wonderful reviews  
> really thanks guys  
> The end...


End file.
